"

I read a poem
the other day

about how
our liver
replaces itself
after 5 months,

our lungs
after 3 weeks

and our skin
after 27 days

I laughed
about how
absurd such
facts were

because it has been 7 months

and I can still feel
your presence in my body
your kisses on my hips
and your breath on my neck

and trust me
I tried to kill as many cells
as I could
after you left

to try to get you
the fuck out of
my veins

I poisoned my liver
nearly every day
with cheap alcohol

and smoked so many cigarettes
I heard my lungs begging me
to stop the other night

and I let too many boys

undress me
and touch my skin
with their dirty dirty hands

simply because
I hoped their presence
would force your ghost

to get
out of my bed
out of my life
and out of my mind

but still
I can hear the echoes
of your footsteps
as you are running
in my brain

and it is driving
me insane

because when I was 7 years old
my father took me fishing
and made me promise

I’d never let anyone
get under my skin

yet here I am
13 years later

destroying myself
to try to forget

how you destroyed me
after telling me for a year
how much you loved me

and I can’t help but imagine
how horrified my father
would be

to see his baby girl
killing herself slowly

but what he could not understand
is that if I drink too much
or smoke too much

it is only to stop your ghost
from growing and growing

like the cancer
that
took
him
away.

"
- Exorcism flavoured whiskey, goldenkintsugi (via goldenkintsugi)

(via frightfulfears)